good bye corporate world... I didn't have the balls I guess.

sorry for the long absence. In the last few weeks I've been laid off and given into the forced holiday which coincided with the christmas holiday of family gatherings. (not my immediate family of course as they live in Nova Scotia) however, as part of my update I wish to proclaim my love for David Bowies album ""The Man Who sold the World" which has been my anthem since the group layoff at my previous place of employment two weeks ago. Why is it that companies see fit to lay people off two weeks before major holidays? As if the two weeks post are too much of a burden for them to bare. Well as we all know corporations don't have to have a conscience since they harbor multiple minds/egos.

As cynical as I am, I pretty much have accepted my fate, which I always do. Nothing can be done to change what has happened but at least I am no longer working for a company that exploits the fears of a tyrant government. I've always held a "what the fuck can I do" attitude when it comes to my career. I fell into this line of work (a defense company) and although I've taken much slack from the idealists of the world I've always maintained my innocents in the matter. At least I wasn't selling weapons. But sometimes I would wonder about the machine I employed by. The machine that builds "security" devices to protect civilians from the "ever present threat" of bombs. The fact of the matter is Ilive in canada. and although malls and other consumer monuments are threatened by them, those bombs never seem to materialize. So why was selling thousands of dollars in bomb disposal equipment to people who weren't in danger of exploding? And hey, at least I'm not longer in a work environment, where my male bosses think my most important job is to make sure their coffee doesn't have cream or sugar.

In the end why would I want to stay there? in a company ruled by the opposite sex purely because they are not female. It's a sad thing to see your male counterparts be promoted above you purely because of their genitalia. It's not as if I can say that I couldn't put in the hours becaues I have children, I can't even claim that. If I had gotten laid off for that reason, rest assured, I'd be more pissed off. But lets talk about the basic issue here, which is that ever position of power in a company of over 700 employees is held by a man. and don't mistake me, there are a hefty amount of positions of power. They just happen to be held by men.

The thing is I knew I couldn't get any further in that company than I already had. Who was gonna give me a leading sales position? Its funy when you look at the departments. All the heads were men, all the minion positions were held by women. Men that walked into the positions when experienced women could have been promoted into the positions. I see this all the time. Why promote someone when you can hire someone new to take the position..someone male. I'm bitter but not bitter enough to stop trying to be at the top of something. At least at the point where I don't have to bring coffee to my boss just because I'm female and he's male. and to object... well that will cost you your job. Maybe thats why I got laid off. Maybe I objected too much. Like when male managers from completely different departments came up to me , not knowing my position or even my name and asked me to do their photocopying for them as if I was a file clerk, as if I didn't have a title I'd worked for. Maybe thats why they chose to lay me off. Or maybe it was because I didn't laugh at their jokes when they said something offensive... when they made sexists comments about the waitresses at our luncheons. Maybe thats why. One can only speculate. In the end, one can only speculate. Then again, maybe the only reason I got laid off is because the company needed to downsize. I wonder how they make the call to axe people?