Thursday, April 5, 2007

The Streets Are More Inviting

I decided to post another piece of a chapter. Yet unfinished. I will post more later, this one is long!

The Streets Are More Inviting:
There was little speaking most of the morning. Jenny and Marcus had fought extensively a few nights ago. When Marcus got angry he tended to yell " oh you wanna see the real Marcus girls! I can really terrorize a woman!" his face would turn bright red and he'd throw something. On this occasion Jenny locked herself in the bedroom and I just stay on the floor not wanting to get involved. Jenny had once told me how he use to knock around one of his x-gals. Why Jenny would wanna date anyone like that was always beyond me, yet I felt it was never my place to say. I could never bring myself to tell Jenny she should leave him, although she often said she wanted to.

Today was odd however. We were a few days away from moving into our new place. We had put a deposit on a great apartment that was big and bright. Jenny and I were always daydreaming about decorating it and drawing pictures of our designs. I was having my second thoughts about the arrangement however. Staying on Jenny and Marcus's floor for two months made me realise just how dysfunctional their relationship was. I only knew one person in Ottawa, a guy I was dating. I didn't make much money at work so I couldn't afford to get my own place. Maybe in the new apartment with my own bedroom it wouldn't be so bad I rationalized.

Jenny finally spoke and insisted that her friend Lauren was available to help me with a resumes I was developing to find a graphic design position. She very much insisted that I go right away. So of course I went. I had the day off so why not.

Upon my return to the house, I quickly discovered what Jenny and Marcus were up to. I step in to find Jenny and Marcus sitting quietly on the beat up little couch. All of their furniture came from the garbage. They would spend hours trying to make them look less like pieces of junk. Which of course, they always had hours to do since they were both unemployed. Not to know garbage finds. I myself have loads of awesome stuff tossed to the curb, but Jenny and Marcus' finds always seem to be in the most rough condition. I was convinced the couch was growing mould under all those blankets.

Marcus speaks first. To be honest, Marcus did most of the talking. Jenny sat idley by as the "good girlfriend" sure to never raise a word against him. This is what Jenny did when Marcus finally beat her into submission with insults.

"Amy we need to speak to you about something," he begins. I smile thinking how odd they are when they try to talk rationally about things instead of lunging things at each other's heads. It's obvious this is some sort of intervention although I can't seem to tell what for.

I tell him sure and pull up a grungy orange foot stool. Another garbage find, although this one in decent shape. I'm sure it was thrown out for the repulsive fake orange leather not for lack of spectacular condition.

He begins to explain why we need to sit around like one of us is going to be committed. He's talking with his hands a lot. A lot of wrist movement, further adding to my suspicion of repressed homosexuality. Marcus was a well known homophobe. He often told me how disgraceful he found it. Sick, unnatural and worst of all that all he said "gay men loved him" which as he put it "sickened him to the point of violence". This is funny for someone who is a self-proclaimed pacifist. Marcus liked to preach the hippie life, so much in fact that you couldn't enter a conversation with him without it turning into a lecture on you outlook on life. How it was somehow wrong and without "light". Jay use to always say "It's a wonder he doesn't walk around in a white robe and sandals" . What Jay didn't know was that Marcus has a violent history and his chronic dissatisfaction with himself is what triggered it. To imply that Marcus may be wrong, was to certain to hurl screamed insults and books at you.

Now I've never been terribly good at dismissing peoples "ugly" sides. Poor personality traits we all have and I know this. Yet when a persons bad traits outweigh the good, I find myself unable to tolerate them quickly. Marcus was one of these people. Marcus was the type of guy that would borrow 80 bucks and give back 60. He would shoot a look at you, right in eye not letting a word slip through his smug grin and you just knew he wasn't going to give you that 20 bucks.

So when Marcus turns to me and says there is something we must speak about, I'm immediately interested. What else could he possibly say to me that he hasn't already stated. Is it about my lifestyle of loving bars and music? That I worked too much as jenny and he often told me. That I was naive about the world and its dangers? Wasn't it enough that he disagreed with every thing I ever said? Apparently I spoke too often which commented on as being a bad quality.Marcus often refused to let me out of the house after eight unless Jay came to pick me up. I knew this was twisted but put up with it for the tie being considering we were soon to all have our plot of house. Mine with my very own exit! I felt as though I was a prisoner in that house. I felt like a child, a 21 year old child. I hate myself for never gaining the courage to leave. I had run away from ever problem I ever had and I simply didn't want to do it again.

" I spoke with the owner of the new apartment and we aren't getting the apartment." Those are the next words to leave his mouth. I'm scanning my brain for information. 'We already gave our notice.' Noted 'We will be homeless in 4 days' Noted. 'we will be homeless in 4 days...' WHAT?!

'we already gave the landlord the deposit' I relax a little. "Marcus, we already gave the landlord the apartment. I don't see what the problem is! You said that the apartment was ours"

"He screwed us Amy. He lied to me" Marcus replies.

"Okay well where's the receipt?" I question.

"There is no receipt I didn't give him the money"

I begin to panic again. "Didn't give him the money? Why didn't you give him the money?"

"I shook his hand and looked him square in the eye and he knew that I knew that we had the apartment" He says completely calm, oddly calm.

"WHAT?! Marcus, you have to give him a deposit on an apartment if you expect him to hold it for you for two months!" I yell. The man is fucking forty years old. How the hell did he make it to 40 not living in a box? My next thought is, "you've known about this for this long?".

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