Friday, July 27, 2007

The Almighty Man and His Imaculate Music Knowledge and Talent

Todays post is dedicated to men that think because they have a penis, they are destined to become rock stars and therefore know more, feel more, and are more talented in the division of music than you.

Todays post is dedicated, to the fragile male ego of the unaccomplished guitarist and his self-proclaimed destiny, not to be the most technically advanced guitarist, but to bang a lot of chicks.

Yes my friends its sad but true that over 95% of male rockers weren't in it for the music, they're in it to be awed by the opposite sex. The other five percent break down like so : about 3% of them are gay and the other two actually are committed to the dream of being an accomplished musician or artist.

I must publish my utter distaste for a recent email I received by facebook. This correspondence came from a complete stranger yet someone who does live in Ottawa. (The author of the email shall remain nameless as I am not completely heartless and don't wish to further damage his ego)

The letter began and ended as so : (please be aware that I have not edited anything in the messages... nor the spelling and grammar errors or typos)

Hi i was wondering if you are interested in joining a project i have started its all girls and me/I sing and play lead/but we share some vocals as well/we need another female guitarist to finish the puzzle/all the girls are in ther early 20s so you'll be comfartable/if not and if you know if anyone interested please let me know

My initial reaction was, "am i to feel uncomfortable around people who are older than myself and perhaps even of a different sex?" and secondly "why is this guy seeking out young-ish girls to be his back-up band. Specifically looking for youngish girls?"

But my response was simple:
Hi there, I'm pretty busy with my band irght now. What kind of music do you play?

Then I receive this response from the man which immediately triggers my distaste :
We are a original hard rock project/thanks for the reply like i said if ya know of anyone else please let me know/Not to sound vain or mean but we are going for a certain image too/the girls have to be young and goodlooking/too bad you are so busy cause you fit the bill and this band is going take over this city as soon as we step in the scene/

I think you can clearly see why I'm unimpresed and annoyed. This asshole is recruiting "hot" gals to make himself look good. It's pretty obvious that musical talent isn't what he's looking for. To top it all off, he boasts at the end. So I give it to him straight :

I am currently in a feminist band. I would never be apart of something as shallow and gimiky as what you are suggesting.

I figured he'd get the picture and go back to his shallow attempt to be a rockstar. But no. I receive ANOTHER response.

Look yu didn;t have be insulting/i never insulted yu in anyway/i actually kinda complimented you/Im quite respected musician in this town you should be careful how yu speak to people/I'll give ya some friendly advice don;t be rude to people on the way up in the music scene cause your gonna those same people on the way down/Good luck/

Oh a respected musician!?! I should be careful? Who does this guy think he is? And why is he trying so hard to assure me (or himself?) that he's a rockstar? I can't hold my tongue of course...

dude, your cockiness gives me the right to say whatever I want. You wanna build a band that has attractive people in it. thats totally lame and pathetic. Real rockers don't have to look a certain way, and people with talent are rarely the beautiful ones. I find your approach to music offensive.

Furthermore, if you we're "quite a respected musician in this town" , then I would have heard of you since I'm a local promoter and work with the clubs here. I don't appreciate being told to watch my mouth by someone who thinks they are "on the way up" since I'm already as you say "up". Perhaps it is you who should be watching your words.

Had too. Sorry! The guy is pretending he's all up in the scene when he isn't. I googled him. Nothing! All he ever did thats in print as far as I can research, is replace a guitarist in light rock band that caters to festivals for middle aged people and the children they force into going. The very fact that he assumes I'm nobody is even funnier to me. Cause it's not that I'm a rockstar or anything but I know the scene extremely well. There are very few bands in this damn city that I haven't heard of. If he were say, some Kelp Records artists, maybe I'd have some respect for him, but he's not even that!!! He's NO ONE!

What exactly is it that forces guys to make outrageous and untrue statements in the instance of rejection or in this case, at the very least, a disagreement. I know so many guys that freak when you disagree with them. It's like you've just challenged their dick to perform in 40 below !?

What goes here goes in other conversations as well. I, as well as friends of mine, have taken repeated blows from men who simply maintain that we are wrong in our musical taste and factual music history whenever conversation turns in that direction?

I'm starting to believe the lack of respect and knowledge is due to my first statement... that 95% of men are simply only into music to bang chicks, and if a man only sees women as walking vaginas then why the hell would he respect your musical taste, opinion, talent or artistic entegrity?

I guess I'm just lucky I found one thats in the other 2% of the equation.


Missy A said...

HAHAHAHA too funny ...what a looser

Just goes to prove you should research before you message he had no idea who you where and didn't care either he just wanted "good looking girls"
Damn the Addicted to Love video has good looking girls in it ..they aren't playing the instruments though
they are only there to make Robert Palmer look good

On the way up? as soon as we start?
Good grief I am SO laughing at this guy, good for you for knocking him back down a couple of steps on the ladder that he wasn't even on yet ...too funny!

Cammy said...

I know what a jackass! I've been laughing about this since it happened! My boyfriend wants to figure out who he is so he can mock him mercilessly. I'm pretty sure this stranger would go to my boyfriends club.. you know cause he's totally "up" in the city.

Sabina England, Playwright said...

What a fucking sexist douche-bag.

His dick is probably tiny and he can't get any chicks. One requirement to be in his band-- you have to suck his dick.

I hope he gets a STD and die.