Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Chivalry and Romance Dead?

I wanted to address the existence and non-existence chivalry and romance in North American Dating rituals. (I don't know anything about the rest of the world)

I have often thrown around such statements as "chivalry is dead". I do believe that its almost completely extinct. This is often blamed on the feminism, which I just find really funny. Anti-feminist groups spouting rehtoric about the death of romance and the "hook-up" culture being responsible for it. After all, if 'women weren't giving away the milk for free, maybe we'd get something out of it'. To me this is laughable. Who has this outlook on dating? Do some women really expect to be paid in dinners, movies and flowers before they sleep with a person? It sounds like covert prostitution - okay thats a little extreme, granted. But what person puts a price on their willingness to engage in sexual activity? I know I don't. But I have met gals in the past who would only sleep with a guy if he showed her the "right" time, the "right" amount of times. On the other hand, I've met those gals who run out everynight hooking up with different guys and then becoming attached and confused when the hook-up leads to nothing more than a one night stand.

However, I don't think chivalry is completely dead and forgotten. I believe that men have used "gender equality" as an excuse to not show their appreciation to their significant other.However, not all men of course. I've known many men, and young men, who wine and dined me. (never got flowers before tho) But there are men who do sweet things. I also don't think all ownership to be romantic lies on the man. I love taking my boyfriend to romantic dinners, or making them myself at home and enjoying a romantic evening.

I think that the reason women believe chivalry is dead, lies largely in the type of men they socialize with. Not every guy is going to be sweet and spoiling. However, I do agree that it is really really hard to find a good man and a good man who's personality is compatable with your own.

Dating is so complicated. There is no sure fire solution. There's no guaranteed way to meet the person of your dreams. It just happens or it doesn't. When I'm single and looking, I try people on. I don't get serious with anyone right away and I date multiple people at once. I may even sleep with some of them. But chivarly and romance isn't actually dead. You just have to look really really hard for it.

But seriously, why would you want a man who feels he must "buy" your bedtime romps? The key to knowing you got bad egg, is that the romantic dinners and flowers stop after the first few times you've fucked.

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