Monday, March 5, 2007

Zombies & Lazor Swords.




My boyfriend has a theory that any movie can be marginally improved by the appearance of zombies and lazor swords.(like light-sabers)I am about to put this theory to the test by disecting aclaimed films.

BRAVEHEART :
(William and his men into the scene. William's face is painted solid

blue except for a sharp wedge of bare flesh pointing down over his

left eye.)

Veteran soldier: Fight against that? No, we will run, and we will live.

William: Aye, fight and you may die, run and you'll live. At least a while.
And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to
trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one
chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take
our lives, but they'll never take our freedom?! Alba gu bra! (Scotland

forever!)

(The Scots cheer "Alba gu bra" repeatedly)

Cammy's Edit :It is at this point that the Scotts notice that it is not the English they are about to engage but an army of Zombies rotting in the golden sun. Then, William Wallace, draws out his sword and in the rays of the sun, his sword transforms into a LAZOR SWORD! This is a gift from god which he uses to qwell the English army of Zombies.

GONE WITH THE WIND:

(Final Scene at the end of a staircase)

Rhett Butler: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

Cammy's Edit: It's at the moment as Rhett turns to walk away from Scarlet the she transforms into the living dead. Explination- She had been dying of TB for over a year without anyones knowledge! Zombie Scarlet exacts revenge for the cruel words and bites into Rhett's neck, tearing his inferior thyroid artery and then impales his almost lifeless body on a LASOR SWORD that had been carelessly left at the bottom of the stairs.

STAR WARS- ATTACK OF THE CLONES

Cammy's Edit: for the Entire Movie, anyone who dies is immediately resurrected as a zombie by the evil power of the syph lord. Jar Jar Binks is the first to suffer this fate at the beginning of the movie where he is immediately decapitated by Ani. LASOR SWORD add, not neccessary.

FIGHT CLUB

Because I'm tired of typing script I'll give you the jist of the edit: Jack realises in the end that Tyler Dertan is actually a zombie and himself! Therefore he has to have a battle with the zombie within! Jack ends up cutting himself in half with his LAZOR SWORD.

Okay, now you try! edit movies to include Zombie and LASOR SWORDS. The edit doesn't neccessarily have to affect the outcome of the movie.

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